What a fucking day today. First thing, I had my PFT, and I smashed that mother fucker setting a new personal record. I didn’t do as many pull-ups as I wanted, but I still smashed it. Eighteen pull-ups, ninety-five crunches, and a eighteen forty on my three-mile run. I saw SSgt Delgadillo’s jaw hit the deck as he saw my scores. Fuck you dude. I’m the goddamn momma lion round here. Gunny had nothing to say either. Nothing but fucking grunts and shits. Best fucking day ever right? Well, kinda. I turned my promotion packet in trying not to smile and Staff Sergeant just glared at me. Fuck you dude. Nothing short of General Mattis’ himself can stop this packet from going forward. I can’t wait till cutting scores come out. I’m gold. Rest of the day was great, until I saw boot-ass Perkins sniffing around my deck as I came back from the gym. I was tired, sweaty and had my towel draped around my shoulders, jamming out to Alexisonfire Not sure why I decided to hide. I could take that scrawny dopey-ass kid. But, he was hanging around my door holding something. Love letter maybe? If it was…what a fucking clown. I’d rather be caught masturbating in front of Battalion. Anyway coming back to my senses, I step out from behind the CQ desk and head to my room.
He spots me real quick and gives me the puppy eyes.
“Corporal Ragowski,” Are the only words he manages to get out of his boot-ass mouth.
“Private what the fuck are you doing on my deck? Were you planning to raid my panty drawer? You’ll be disappointed to know that there are no panties there for you to sniff, unless you can appreciated the fermented smell of tampons from my trash can.” I can’t remember the rest of my rant, but it was funny as fuck. Funny until I realized that I’d generated a crowd…and everyone decided to start laughing their asses off.
Mother fuckers needed to mind their buisness. Sgt.Greer was on deck and had to tell people to settle down. Perkins ran off like a little pussy, tail between his legs and tears in his eyes. I kinda feel sorry for him. I’m his crush and I probably destroyed his heart. Which is good. Last thing I need is the rumor mill passing along that I’m working on my back and knees. Not that I care what any of these pieces of shit think, but I’m the momma lion. Which, you know what. I’m going to go remind that little shit just who the fuck I am. If he thinks he can come to my deck and embarrass me like that. I’ll also had to talk to Sgt.Greer and see if he logged the incident. He’ll change it. That douche bag has a thing for me too, but at least he’s professional about it.
I swear whats with these sissy-ass hormonal men? If I wanted drama I’d start dating women again. Over it. Actually, I’m gonna hit the NEX, get some booze and relax. But fuck, cutting scores next week and I’m out this bitch! HAHA!